high people should be assigned attendants
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
