when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
