i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
