literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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