I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
