Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
