like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
only if we run a train.
done.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
