defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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