Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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