Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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