A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
