those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
