You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am available for nakedness
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
