Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
