He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
