I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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