I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
