you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize