i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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