It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
and you fell through a lawn chair
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
