We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
