Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
