actually, I'm a sock model
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I made him laugh his dick is mine
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
