Me too!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
