When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
