the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
