my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
