remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
pray to the hookup gods
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
