Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
