i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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