I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
there was a trapeze. enough said
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
