her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
