I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
