ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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