remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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