I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
