I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
