Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
