Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
