this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
