i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
