it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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