I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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