margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
