You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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