So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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