All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize