I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
