Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize