I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
