Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
