we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
