he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im holly from the hills drunk
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
