I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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