You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
