Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
