You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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