is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
