I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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