yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
