is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
