Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize