I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
