Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
