Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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