Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
