Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
