Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
